This prophecy hits the nail on the head. Especially, “At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally, least of all ourselves…” Is it possible to change? Is it possible to be a better person? Kinder? Gentler? Friendlier? TOLERANT? PEACEFUL? GIVING? COMPASSIONATE? PATIENT? FLEXIBLE? The human-being-grow-up list is pretty endless. A friend is doing her new year’s resolutions and one of them is to use less plastic. PLASTICLESS? Ok, why not? Helpful? I’m full of dreams. I wish for changes, deep changes. Not to take things personally is, personally, an excellent beginning.
I don’t usually listen to rock. In fact, I love silence, but you never know when lightning will strike. It struck me last night lying on my couch. So I put the headphones in, far in, and went down a hard rocker’s road. It wasn’t hard at all. It was like I always knew this voice, this guy from Boston, my alma mater, my alma, this unbedded fellow beast, this soul mate of words, this Joe Cocker creature, his gray streaks and chiseled face, this reinvented rebel with cause for fame, this father, this son, this singer, this man, this twin at heart. I guess you could sum it all up and say I love his voice. But it’s more than that. Steven Tyler is my coach. My mentor. My guide. He’s a total inspiration for an old fart grandmother. Here I am, about to look at 32 years of my life, starting with my daughter’s bedroom. I will start with her closet. She is never coming back to use this closet. She has her own closet in Oslo but she still has all these clothes on hangers, shoes stuffed into bags, bags of stuff on the closet floor, all kinds of gauzy skirts that she made or collected, stuff hanging out of duffle bags, paper bags, bags and bags and bags of her life. I really don’t want to go in there, so I don’t. I look out at the plum tree. Look! The blackbird is back! Can that bird hear the water I splashed into the dish this morning? Can the bird smell that I’ve returned from the north? Something is up! What’s up is that I am now living in the pre-new-now. The new now is what I’m trying to get my mind around. That’s why I’m fascinated by Steven Tyler. That’s why I’m starting with my daughter’s bedroom. The combination of Steven Tyler’s voice screaming at me to get my mind around the fact that something is up and the act of cleaning out my daughter’s closet is no coincidence.It’s lightning striking twice. It’s reality. I was lying on my couch trying to unwind and Steven Tyler wound me up.He’s still winding me up. I need this guy to scream at me louder and louder and louder, dream on, dream on, dream on… and finally, as if he were an axe — he makes a dent. Right, I don’t want to miss a thing either. Two outstanding tee-shirts have walked by me recently. First, Now Or Never. Then, Get Over It. How does anyone know what will happen? Freud says: “You know everything.” But, I, for one, need a dent to realize what I already know. I’m about to stare 32 years of my life in the face. At least today I get it. The past is done. Get over it. The new-now is promising. It’s true what Freud said. I know everything. Deep deep down, if I really think about it, I always knew this would happen. I always dreamed it. It’s all good. I’ll start with the closet.
Can you find my blackbird? I think it’s a she but her mate comes too. They love water! And I clean their birdbath often, so they thank me by singing and letting me watch them shake their tailfeathers and go into ecstasy. It’s 100° in the shade today! Now that ceramic dish they splash in would be called ‘The Ceramic Dish Miracle’ by Pam Grout, the author of Esquared, a book my friend Caspar sent me about plugging into something called The Field of Potential which happens to be something I already believe in, so I’m doing Experiment One and the deadline for this first principle to present itself is in exactly six minutes. I had 2 signs so far and I’m waiting for the third. The Ceramic Dish Miracle happened one day when I realized that what I wanted was to find a beautiful ceramic dish that would fit into that plant stand so I could have a birdbath and see if any birds would come. When I went down to the street that day, There It Was. In the street. Sitting on the curb next to the trash container. I swear this is true. I took it upstairs. It fit perfectly on the stand. Do I have a birdie over my shoulder?
The New Healing List
Goal: To Walk Without Pain
Eat Blue Fish
Clean Plate Clean Slate
Eat Fresh Green Coriander, Turmeric, Carrots, Red Fruit, Papaya
Enjoy The Day At Home
Write The Sequel to Maggie Scratch
Smell the Flowers
Take the Pressure Off
Take the Pressure off Your Foot
Enjoy the Simple Things
Cook a Rice Pulaou
Do Rehab Exercises
Talk To Your Foot
Take It Easy
Never Take Walking or Talking or Hearing or Seeing or Smelling or Tasting or Feeling